The building blocks of a busy life

Hmm, so like, life is crazy right now. That is the best way to describe it. I have felt so stressed and tired lately. Crazy I tell ya. Mom flew out last Monday for Florida cause her Gramma isn't doing to well. School is getting piled on as our Community Fair gets closer and I feel like I have to read a bajillion things and write a bajillion papers, so the random blogs I have rolling around in my brain aren't getting written cause papers are more important right now. :P There is a job application and resume sitting on the table that I have been meaning to take with me since Friday and it has gotten left on the table every morning I have been to school. I have been having a hard time focusing during our church's time of fasting, cause I am so tired and can't focus on any one thing for very long. (Google Daniel Fast to find more info) And because of the fast, I can't give into the pms cravings that are totally hitting my right now (and salad does not take the place of sugar or chocolate!). Every weekend has had something scheduled on it, so I really haven't really had much breathing room.

Having said that... Crazy thought I had the other day: It has been a year since I broke up with JP. I had a dream, and he was in it, the other night... creeped me out actually.... and I got to thinking about the relationship and the timing of things, and yeah, one year this last weekned (if I remember right). Before anyone asks me.... I am doing great! It was a God thing cause we just weren't right for eachother, so really, I am good. :) That is just part of the random, crazy things that are going through my head as I think about this paper I have to write for tomorrow. :P
Let's just say, I am soo looking forward to the end of the quarter! :) But before that, the King side fam are meeting at the beach in a couple of weekends! yesh! haha.. it was at a King side thing that my default pic was taken. :) Dad's rendition of my picture. My family is so funny. :P haha... I love them.



Okay, so beofere I keep rambling on, I will end this post. Please don't take it as a depressing post.... it really wasn't written as that. It should have the feel of: haha, life is crazy! Here is why mine is crazy! LOL!!
"We all got a little junk in the trunk
And when you're feelin' good as sunk
Remember, everything will be just fine
If I laugh at yours then you'll laugh at mine" (Shedaisy)

The hunt is kind of on

I need to get a job, but dunno where to start. *sigh* My resume needs a bit of tweaking, but I am not good at selling myself or talking about myself. Looking at child care in the Tacoma area, near my school which is at 6th and Martin Luther King Jr Way (ish). So yeah...

DUDE!

I actually posted this March 26th, but forgot to put it here. (Sorry Gramma)

HOLY CRAP!!!

IT'S SNOWING!!!!!! In Washington!! In March!! That is pretty much insane! My brain is having a hard time grasping this.

A Beautiful Day

The warm sunshine. The smell of green grass and wild flowers. The feeling of Spring. My heart is full of joy as I run into the field laughing. Today is special. I cam feel it. The scene around me begins to spin as I twirl around and around, still laughing. When the dizziness over takes me, I fall onto a bed of wild flowers out of breath but happy. The sun is shining just for me today. As I catch my breath, I come to my knees and begin to pick a few colorful flowers from beside me. They seem to reflect the joyous feeling that is in my heart. There is a stirring at the edge of the field. As I look up, my heart leaps. There stands my Lover, the one who has cause my heart so much joy. How long he has been there, I do not know. His smile is as big and bright as the sunshine. I jump up to run and greet him. With eyes shining he laughs as he runs along the outskirts of the field. We begin in a game of chase. Sometimes I am chasing but then we switch and I become the chased. Eventually he catches me. His strong arms wrap around me, swinging me around in the air. We sit in the grass watching the clouds float by. He takes my small, soft hand in his strong, scarred one and we walk away from the field with the sun setting behind us. Neither one of us saying anything because we don’t need to. Because I am my Lover’s and He is mine.

I am Warrior Princess...

... hear me cry.

Caution: This is a ventilation post. Please do not be alarmed by the content or thoughts expressed.

I don't even know how to start this out. I am so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. It doesn't seem to matter how much or how little sleep I get, I am still tired. I don't want the doctor to give me a pill or whatever. I hate waking up and feeling crappy all the time. There is nothing wrong with me. The doctor already checked me out. I just feel bad when I get up. Tis morning sickness without the pregnancy, cause there is no way that could happen. I am in survival mode is what it feels like. Just do what you have to do to survive. Read this for school, write that, go here, go there. I am tired of working hard for stuff! I guess I am most tired of being emotional. Up and down, up and down. I want to be even keeled.
There are so many thoughts and feelings racing around. People tell me what a good thing I am doing, going to school and heading towards my goals at a young age. It doesn't always feel good. I don't like school. I don't. I am enjoying somethings about the school I am going to, but there are somethings that I just don't get. And that bugs me! I know that not everyone understands and gets everything they are ever taught in their life, but that doesn't help. I want to help people! I want to be out there playing and teaching children.
Then there are things I am dealing with internally. The battlefield they call the mind. Always going, always thinking. Yes the Bible says to take every thought captive, but how? There are so many! Thinking about the what if this happens, the I want this, the how would it look if... all day, every day constantly going.
And there is the I'm single and it sucks. Now I know that it isn't the right time for a relationship, but I want it so bad.
There is the friends thing. I don't have that one person that I am super close to. I have friends that care about me and that I hang out with every once in a while. But we run in different circles now.
Church... I love my church! The closeness and the family. They are my second family. But there are like three of us who are singles. Me and two guys. I really like my sisters church. There are lots of young people who are on fire for God! There are college groups and people my age that I can connect with. But I would have to build those relationships and that takes time and energy.
I am just having an emotional time right now. I think a lot of this is spiritual and I am not feeling very strong right now. But I know in my heart of hearts that my God is big enough to handle it. He says to stand firm and He will fight for me. So I am just going to keep plugging along. Waking up everyday saying, "Today is Your day, Abba. I trust You to take care of me and the people around me."

My musings about V-day

This time of year is always kind of depressing for me as a single female. Even when I had a bf it was a down day. I don't know what it is about V-day, it just depresses me. Maybe it is because I have never known the clique phrase "true love" from a guy. My parents love me, my siblings love me, my friends love me but that is different then having the love of a husband. On Sunday, I heard two songs that shed a new light on my V-day blues.

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) by Chris Tomlin
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace


The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

You are forever mine

The More I Seek You by Kari Jobe
The more I seek you,
the more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breathe, hear your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

The phrase that started this whole thought process on V-day was "You are forever mine." That hit me! Not like a train crashing, but like running into a big hug from someone who loves you. It was so amazing! I felt the love of Jesus washing over me. I don't know the words to describe the feeling. It was better than anything I have ever felt before. He loves me so much!! That phrase can go both ways... Us telling God "You are forever mine" and God telling us "You are forever mine." Either way, it's amazing! Then the very next song we sang was "The More I Seek You." That overwhelming feeling of wanting to sit at His feet, lean against Him, and feel His heartbeat. And that His love for me is deeper then any guy could ever love me. As I thought about this during the rest of worship and during the announcements a couple of verses from Song of Songs came to mind: (I am putting them here out of The Message)

4:7 - You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.
4:9 - You've captured my heart, dear friend. You looked at me, and I fell in love. One look my way and I was hopelessly in love!
6:3 - I am my lover's and my lover is mine. (A better known version is: I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine.)

When you think about how God is the Lover of you soul and this is what he thinks of me! Wow! I am speechless and amazed! My V-day blues are no more! I know who my Valentine is this year! Is He yours?

Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

The Adventures of Little Bear

I posted this on MySpace, but forgot to post it here. Sorry!!

So there is an AT&T commercial where a little girl puts her monkey into dad's briefcase and he finds it and takes picutures of the monkey at various locations on his business trip (with the at&t bars in the background of course). Well coming from the lovely and weird family that I do... Mom went to Arizona with Dad couple of weeks ago and she sent me these:

Apparently these line the streets and buildings are built arond them

Texas Roadhouse Grill

Cute barista (Mom didn't tell him the pic was for her 20 year-old daughter)

CHIPOTLE!!!!

Saguaro cacti

On my way to Radiator Springs!

Even our bears love coffee!! (There were Mesa Police inside and Mom almost got a pic with a couple of them. :P She said they were cute.)

Wow... that's Grand! (Canyon that is)

Tell everybody I'm on my way!

And another Calvin comic:



I have been building character for days now!! When can I stop and turn up the heat!?!? (I thought you would like this one Gram!)

I'm nervous....

So yeah, haven't updated this in a while... sorry! :)

So I start school on Tuesday and I am really super nervous about it. It is a new place, new people, and a new atmosphere... and on top of that I don't know anyone there! At all! Oh and it is a liberal school, so I am definitely going to be stretched in many ways. I am nervous and scared and... I dunno. I want to go, but I don't. School isn't my strong area. But I need to get this degree if I am going to go where I want to go.

So all this to say... if you think about it could you say a quick prayer for me, please? That God would give me peace and that I can meet at least one like-minded person while I am there.

That's all, I guess. Thanks a bunch.

Currently Listening The Flame in All of Us By Thousand Foot Krutch see related

Today is T-day!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF YOU!!!

I would have to say
that I am MOST thankful for my family, especially my parents. They
have supported me and prayed for me as I have traveled the world
seeking out my dreams. They continue to support me as I embark on new
adventures. Thank you and I love you!!!

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New boyfriend!

I don't know is name tho. :P I met him at the Huskies game that
I went to yesterday. He is part of the Alumni Band and plays the snare
drum. He told me I had a nice smile and that I was cute. And whenever
the Huskies score the Alumni Band go out on the track and do push-up to
the number of points they have. And one of the times they went out
there he said, "I am going to do an extra one for you, Baby!" It was
great!!!

So I was at the Huskies game working Security to help
raise money for this year's DTS at the same YWAM base I did mine at.
So I was at the South Gate taking tickets for a while then they moved
me to the field. I was standing at a gate that lead onto the field
facing the crowd to make sure no one that wasn't supposed to go the
field got on. (hopefully that sentence made sense) So for the most
part I stood at one gate by the Alumni Band. Luckily it was almost
dead center of the field so I could see a scoreboard. I could see what
down it was, what yard they were on, how many they had to go to get a
1st down, and that kind of stuff. It was really fun watching the fans
watch the game! They were great!




This is where we were orientated... All the purple made me really happy!!

This
was after the game and the band got to play. We had to stay until they
were done. But our supervisor let us stand on the field in the Husky
end-zone. So not only was I in the stadium, I got to stand on the
field!! I was really happy!!!! :)

Well that is about it! Oh yeah, I should prolly mention that my "boyfriend" is 91.

Currently Listening Better Questions By Todd Agnew see related

Man, I have been really bad about updating this site. I have friends who are on other blogs and this one seems to get pushed out of the way. But I will remain faithful, especially for you Grams!!! :)

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yep!

I am helping AmyJesse paint their house. It is fun!! They have a really cute house. So yeah... fun fun!

Umm... I got one more box cleaned out of my room. Yay!!!

Well...
there really isn't much else going on. I am going to church with
AmyJesse tomorrow. So we will see how that goes. I would like to get
involved in a young adult group cause I don't have much interaction
when people my age. Anyways.

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boring!!

So I am updating for the sake of updating. Not much is happening
in my corner of the world. Hanging out with the fam... wasting time...
the usual "I don't have a life" things. :P So yeah.

This is a pic I took in Portland. My bus stop in front of the ST. Johns Bridge. I would take the 16 to work.

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Fishy, fishy, fishy... why are you sleeping!!!

Current mood: indescribable

So
we went fishing this weekend and my whole goal was to catch a big
fish!!! Well we talked to people and fished and fished, but there were
like no fish! No one was catching anything. I was getting very
disappointed. Dad said we would try a place that might have some fish
cause it was farther up the river where no one really goes. So we went
up there in the afternoon and fished a couple of holes. I had a few
bites, but nothing very big. We found a hole that dad was sure there
were fish.. and BAM!!! I got a fish and started fighting it. Dad told
me how to do it, so i was reeling and would swim away, then i would
reel it back, trying to tire it out. Dad was trying to get close so
he could grab it. The fish started to get tired then it did the death
roll, where it rolls over really fast and all of a sudden my hook came
out of the fish's mouth and it swam away!!!! :( It was really sad!!
So dad tried again in that same hole and a couple of casts later he got
another one!!!! So he hands me the pole and I start fighting this
one. (By this time my arm is like aching!! They fight hard!) So I am
like praying really hard and talking to the fish. :P "Don't you dare
come off my hook!!" I was fighting it... it would take a run (meaning
it would swim out farther away from me) then i would pull back the
fishing rod and reel in, it would take another run and i would pull
back the rod and reel in and say "Come back... my arm hurts!" Dad had
me get onto the bank and keep on reeling it in. He was finally able
to get a hold of it and bring in on shore!!!!!!! I CAUGHT A
STEELHEAD!!!!!! WOOP WOOP!!! It was AWEsome!!! There aren't that
many women who catch steelhead, so I have become one of them!!!
Yesssssss!!!!

Here is my fish:

That was my first one... I caught it really good!


Fighting the one that got away


Me and my Daddy!!! :) He was pretty happy too!


The trophy... 28 inches about 8 pounds.

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So long, farewell...

I am leaving for the weekend to go fishing on the Hoh river. I will have no phone service and no internet, so I will be out of reach. But I am going to catch a BIG fish!! muahahaha!!!

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I am THE woman!!

Yeah so my exciting story for the week is....



I CHANGED THE HEAD LIGHT ON MY CAR... ALL BY MYSELF!!!!



That's right.... AND I got my hands all greasy and gross. Blech...
later Dad asked if I used gloves. Err... forgot about that. Anyways,
so yeah. I went to Napa and got the light. btw, Dad is in DC, so he
couldn't do it and I have been going places after dark, so it needed to
be done. So I pop the hood of my car and look at what needs to be
done. It is the left headlight. Subaru did the brilliant thing of
putting that headlight right in front of the battery! Right on!
GAR!!!! So I called Dad and asked if he usually took the battery out
and he told me that he just loosens it and moves it back a bit. Easier
said then done... hello!! I have never done this before!! So
anyways... long story short. After moving the battery, getting dirty,
almost cussing out loud, hearing snide comments from the bro,
forgetting to put some part back in place, it raining during this whole
thing and not knowing what size of tool I needed to take the nut off
the battery... I did it!!!! Yay for me!!!! After it was all done I
decided that I never want to do that again. But I conquered the
headlight and a female stereotype all at once. (Yes I can fix my car
if I absolutely have to, but if I don't then I won't)



So now I have to get back to the fun(not) job of unpacking.

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Blah Blah

So I am in the process of moving all my stuff into mom and dad's house,
which is not a small task. Well... my room is small, but my stuff...
hehe... I got a lot of stuff. I am not sure where it is all going to
go, but I will find some place for it. So I am busy, busy. Trying to
keep up with the fam's schedule, unpack, organize, find scholarships,
FAFSA, and hang out with friends I haven't seen in a while. Lots to do
and so little time to do it in. Oh I will be looking for a job in the
next couple of weeks too. *sigh* Life is good. :) I love being home
with my family. (And I get home cooked meals for dinner! Yum! ;) lol!
The WHOLE family is currently here... AmyJesse are living here while
they find a house to buy, then there is the Mother and Father and
little Brother. Yeah... all 6 of us are here. Tis an interesting thing.
yup yup! I am kinda rambling now, so I will get off and shut up. :P

k thnx bye

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A Tribute

I don't know who reads this, but it doesn't matter. I feel like writing, so that is what I am going to do.

I was just taking a break from packing and got to thinking over the past year. A year ago on September 14th I dedicated a full year to missions. My year long adventure started out in the quaint town of Port Townsend in Washington. I was living on a YWAM base doing the entry level class called Discipleship Training School (DTS) with 8 other students and a number of staff. We spent three months in a classroom setting and two months in Asia... (excerpt taken from YWAM DB website)
"Come join students from around the world for three months where weekly
speakers will mentor you in knowing God personally, hearing his voice,
loving His Word, spiritual warfare, sharing your faith, relationships,
and world evangelism. Learn-apply-grow--and share. That's Jesus' way.
The final two months are spent on outreach discovering God’s heart for
the nations and applying what you've learned."
On March 2nd, much to the delight of my mother, I graduated from the class and was able to go home. But through that experience God taught me a lot about myself. Here is the testimony I wrote about what God did in me:
1)
What God did in me: During the entire
outreach, God was teaching me to trust Him in every aspect of my life. When I left to home for outreach, there were
things I had to leave undone because of time.
I didn’t know when I was moving to Portland, I did not get to finish filling out my
application to Evergreen State, and when I left it was the start of a three month relationship
fast. God was asking if I trusted Him
enough to bring it all back together and take care of all the unknowns. Everyday it was a continual process of crying
out to Him and letting go of all my fears.
I had to pry my fingers off of controlling the steering wheel and allow
God to take over. The last Sunday of
outreach, February 25^th, during worship I declared that I trusted
God to have control of my future and I gave Him my relationship with JP, which
I ended in April because God showed me it was the best plan He had for me. I felt such a wonderful feeling of freedom
after that and during our performance at the church I had so much fun dancing
under the new freedom I had found. It
will still be a continual process of everyday trusting God, but I know that He
is definitely big enough.

2)
A Highlight of the trip: Anie… four feet, some
inches, but 100% pure sweetness and joy.
We would spend our minutes and hours together talking, sitting, doing homework,
play fighting, or sharing in the silence.
She is a 20 year old that has been through so much with her family, yet
she remains sweet and soft-hearted. Her
mom and dad separated when she was younger and one of her sisters when to live
with him and take care of him. After a
little while her dad got sick and died.
Her mom could not take care of 6 children on her own. Anie and one of her younger sisters came to
live at the FGA Child Care Centre. All
of her siblings have come to know Jesus, but her mom is still living in
darkness. I am so blessed by her
friendship and that God allowed us to meet each other. Being at the Centre and hanging out with the
children was definitely the biggest highlight of outreach for me.

The
FGA Child Care Centre is a facility where there are about 120 children. Some are orphans and some are children whose
families couldn’t afford school. The
people at FGA take the children in, teach them the love of God, and give them
the opportunity to get a good education and a hopeful future!

3)
What God did through me: I have been changing
lives, history and making war in the heavenly realm from Mianyang, China to Kampong Spoe, Cambodia. DUN,
DUN, DUN!!! WOOP WOOP!!

One Sunday, in Cambodia, we felt like God was telling us to share
personal testimonies or words God gave us then close with “Redeemer.” When I was praying about what to share on,
God told me what the topic was: Love one another. Which is something that God was continually
telling the team over and over. Every
place we went, someone had a message that said, “They will know Jesus by how
you love one another.” So it was a
familiar topic to us, but to me it was kinda getting old. But God gave me a few verses (9 passages to
be exact) and things to say, I was
really nervous about speaking in front of the children and staff at the Centre,
but God came through and gave me the words to say. The leader, Solvan, was really agreeing with
what I had to say. Some, or most, of the
children don’t treat each other very nice.
They call each other names and hit each other. So even though it was a topic we as a team
had heard over and over, I was able (with God’s wonderful help) to bring it to
the people He wanted to hear it.

Four of the girlies My friend Anie Starbucks in Chengdu, China

So with that adventure closing, a new one was beginning. I spend the month of March at home readjusting the life in the States, reflecting on the trip, and unpacking only to pack again. In April I moved down to Portland, OR to start a 6 month internship at BridgeTown Ministries. I was immersed in inner city work and it was awesome!! For three months I was the leader of their outreach to children called BTown Kids. We took a big truck to a local apartment complex and hung out with the kids. We fed them lunch, played with them, painted faces, played messy games, sang songs, and gave short object lessons. It was a complete BLAST!! I was so excited when Saturday would come, even tho I didn't get to sleep in as late as I would like. It was awesome! God really touched the hearts and lives of the kids as well as the volunteers who came and helped out. My experience here was different then anything I had done before. I had to be an adult. I had responsibilities of keeping a house, paying bills on time, making sure the part that I did in BTown was done, be up and at work when it was time, and manage my time appropriately. A difficulty I ran into was I lived by myself for the better part of five months. I have always lived around people whether it was my family or people on DTS. Jesus truly had to be my best friend or else there was no one that was there. It was difficult and I failed at times, I will admit. I watched too much tv and wasted the time I should have been cleaning the house or spending time with Jesus.

I have pics of Portland, but they are on my camera and my chord is packed somewhere.

So now I am sitting at home in Bonney Lake. I have moved most of my stuff to here and mom and I will get the rest next weekend.

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Ah, the power of surprise!

Written at 11:13 am, yesterday.
So my dad's birthday was this weekend... and I went up to
bonney lake on saturday to surprise him. It was great!! I also got to
hang out with my sister, bro-in-law, and friend Keeshia who came up for
the weekend from Cali. It was great! I am oober excited about moving
home. I have two weeks left in Portland, then off to washington to
start over. New job, new school, new friends. I am pretty excited.
My sisters church has this great young adult group that I am going to
get involved with. I really don't have many friends in the bonney lake
area, so it is going to be a great opportunity to meet new people my
age that are in the same phase of life. Pretty cool. But I also get
to hang out with old friends. Mel and my CB family. Whoa.. I had the
weirdest dream the other night about CB.. We were madly trying to get
ready for OR and I was trying to burn a program cd for Mel (yep dear
you were there :) and it wasn't going very well. We all gathered in a
group and Rick was pissed. I have never seen him like that before. In
the dream I was like dude, he is mad! There were tons of other random
things that went on, but that was the main one. It was weird.
Anyways..

My break is almost over, so I gotta go pee and get some tater-tot casserole before heading to YP2.

Bye to the very few who read this anymore. And thank-you!

Currently Listening Greatest Hits (Snys) By Sara Evans As If see related

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oh yeah!

overdosing on marie callendars pot pies, tillamook ice cream, m&ms, and csi miami :P

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